What does depression feel like?

Depression comes on out of nowhere

It can open up the mind to see details you've never seen before

The sag of the clouds

The dry, haylike grass and the yearning creek

The blue tint in the green leaves of a few trees

Or depression can close your mind 

Making you drop something you forget you just picked up

Missing the smile on the stranger in front of you

Not noticing your pet looking over at you with loving animal eyes

It can bring on physical illness

Your throat hurts
You feel cold--

Or too hot--

Or cycling everywhere in between

Your head hurts

Your cheeks feel warm

Your body is

SO, SO TIRED

Or maybe you're mostly numb

Not just physically

But like nothing much matters

You have that insatiable question,

WHY?

But don't really want to answer

Depression makes you feel like a slave
To your own body
Needing to feed it
And bathe it
Everyday tasks
Sucking down your effort
That you're not even going to use
Even lying in bed avoiding everything
Feels like work

Nausea, anxiety, anger, worry

A soreness

Aching 

Deep inside your core

Fused in muscle and organ and bone

It feels like it's not going anywhere

But you've been here before

So you know it'll leave when it wants

But for now, 

You want to be alone

Even when you already are alone

It seems like you could sleep for days,

And, really,

You'd love to sleep until 

THIS IS OVER

When will it be over?

You might forget to eat

Or eat too much

You might not clean anything including yourself

Or you may go on a cleaning rampage

You might want to go for a run

But then realize you have 

NO MOTIVATION

No motivation
Not caring for much of anything

Certainly not yourself

Depression is not just passing angst

It sits cozily in your soul smiling

Like the Chesire Cat

It is like grief that has no emotional or circumstantial cause

It is clinical

Cynical

Unequivocal

But you must fight.

Because even though it may never leave, 

You will always survive.

In fact, you will thrive.