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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Was that pep talk for you? Or for me?-- Communication as a Means to Prevent Greed and Conflict.


I have to say-- it's getting colder and colder, and people seem to be getting greedier and greedier along with it. 

I don't have one specific, large instance where this has proved around me, but I just seem to be hearing more and more about money.  Sure, the economy is in a sad state.  Sure, jobs are scarce.  Sure, we have to get creative and employ different strategies in order to make money.

But this doesn't have to give our integrity the death sentence.

This is where I will make a claim that sounds pretty, but also has substance to it that I need you to take in and dissect.

Life is too short to spend chasing after a dollar that will screw you over in the long run anyways. Invest in something that will bring you purpose, excitement, challenges, and happiness.

Now, this statement can mean different things to different people.  For instance, "chasing after a dollar," "screw you over," "the long run," "investing," and pretty much the rest of that statement are all pieces of language that you can personalize to your own circumstance.  To me, "chasing after a dollar" means something much different than what "chasing after a dollar" would mean to an influential decision maker of a large corporation.  To me, "the long run" would mean something much different than it would to a teacher nearing retirement.  To me, "purpose, excitement, challenges, and happiness" all mean different things than they do to you.

This is why I love the ability that humans have to communicate in such broad and universal ways.  This brings me to another broad and universal statement that can concern each individual in a different way.

Good communication practices can help you in every single aspect of your life.  It can also lead to less greed and more fulfillment.

So how could conveying your message better lead to you being less greedy?  Well, of course, this can happen in different ways for different people, but let me offer one example.

Step One) Shannon has been searching for a job with no luck.  She finally decides to go after a job with no benefits, not enough money (by her current standards), but room to work her way up.  What Shannon realizes next is that she does not really know what her own ethics are or what she really wants in a job.  She begins a gradual downward spiral into work practices that she does not feel great about but that bring her enough money to pay off her loans. 

Step Two) Shannon has learned a hard lesson here, but through it has decided to make a change in her life.  She understands herself better and, in turn, now understands how to better communicate her wants and needs.  She makes less money in a more ethical position and cannot always make her loan payments (such is the post-grad life), but she feels better about her impact on those around her and through that lesson, has even begun to implement this strategy in her personal life with much success.    

Step Three) Shannon has been more blunt and individual in her job search because of her increased awareness of self and enhanced communication techniques.  She has earned a job that both supports her massive student loan payments and lets her feel ethical about what she does.  She notices that she thinks less greedily even though she has less money than she did to start off with and feels happier.

You may be thinking, Okay, Lauren.  That was... quaint... but that ain't happenin' for me, honey.

Hang in there.  It will happen.  And it is more likely to happen now if you continue to a) look after yourself, b) remain open and humble, and c) learn, learn, learn. 

Which leads me to a not so broad statement.

If you can't learn, love, and communicate effectively then you will inevitably cause harm to yourself and those around you.  

That's a bold claim, but I truly believe in its power and truth.  Toss your obsessions (like greed) that only get in the way of growing and developing.  Anything that promotes negativity or discomfort in the pursuit of your goals is not only not worth the ethical implications, but also the stress it does to your body, mind, spirit and environment. 

Just trust me-- you are going to be okay.  I believe that most of the conflict in this world (if not all) stems from fear.  Don't act out on your fear because it will cause pain in your life.  Look past your fear and trust that by making the right decision, and committing to learning, you are sowing an amazing future harvest.

But what about those that step in the way?  Well, you might not like my opinion on that.  See, because of my belief that anger stems from fear, I think better communication can at least attempt to help that.  While I am realistic and understand that conflict in the workplace and conflict in any other aspect of life is complicated and more gray than black and white, I also think that by communicating your reasoning for thinking or behaving in a certain way and helping the other person understand where you come from, you can, in many cases, solve the conflict.  Getting to the root of the problem is so important.  Why is the person stepping in your way?  And what factors in their life are behind that reasoning?  What don't they understand about your reasoning and involvement?  So many issues are caused by lack of understanding, education, and communication.

But, as I said, I understand that you cannot solve all conflicts in this matter because sometimes, they go so far into the gray zone that a longer process is going to have to take place, if any resolution will ever take place.  Sometimes it's better to just be the better person and back down, even if it means some sacrificing on your part.

In the end, what I'm telling you (and myself) is to simply continue to learn better communication strategies.  It will affect your ability to understand yourself and those around you, and (hopefully) will lead to less greed, more fulfillment- and less conflict and more rewards.

Be open.  Be loving.  Be calm.

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