What does depression feel like?

Depression comes on out of nowhere

It can open up the mind to see details you've never seen before

The sag of the clouds

The dry, haylike grass and the yearning creek

The blue tint in the green leaves of a few trees

Or depression can close your mind 

Making you drop something you forget you just picked up

Missing the smile on the stranger in front of you

Not noticing your pet looking over at you with loving animal eyes

It can bring on physical illness

Your throat hurts
You feel cold--

Or too hot--

Or cycling everywhere in between

Your head hurts

Your cheeks feel warm

Your body is

SO, SO TIRED

Or maybe you're mostly numb

Not just physically

But like nothing much matters

You have that insatiable question,

WHY?

But don't really want to answer

Depression makes you feel like a slave
To your own body
Needing to feed it
And bathe it
Everyday tasks
Sucking down your effort
That you're not even going to use
Even lying in bed avoiding everything
Feels like work

Nausea, anxiety, anger, worry

A soreness

Aching 

Deep inside your core

Fused in muscle and organ and bone

It feels like it's not going anywhere

But you've been here before

So you know it'll leave when it wants

But for now, 

You want to be alone

Even when you already are alone

It seems like you could sleep for days,

And, really,

You'd love to sleep until 

THIS IS OVER

When will it be over?

You might forget to eat

Or eat too much

You might not clean anything including yourself

Or you may go on a cleaning rampage

You might want to go for a run

But then realize you have 

NO MOTIVATION

No motivation
Not caring for much of anything

Certainly not yourself

Depression is not just passing angst

It sits cozily in your soul smiling

Like the Chesire Cat

It is like grief that has no emotional or circumstantial cause

It is clinical

Cynical

Unequivocal

But you must fight.

Because even though it may never leave, 

You will always survive.

In fact, you will thrive.

Reaction to protest at Donald Trump's Chicago rally

Bernie Sanders has a press release on his website to issue a statement concerning the recent protest at a Donald Trump rally.  It says exactly what I was thinking, and what most people will think if they have all of the facts.

I've been following the campaigns of not only Bernie Sanders, but also Donald Trump, and it truly was only a matter of time before a protest like this one occurred.  It was only a matter of time before people standing up for themselves against Trump's hate- and violence- inducing views and speech caught attention on this scale.  To Ben Carson who said that we need to be respectful of Donald Trump's right to free speech:  How dare you?  People are being thrown out of Trump's rallies for having the word "love" on their shirts... And there have been multiple cases of assault on people simply standing in silent protest at the rally.  Where was their right to free speech?  Do not make Donald Trump or his supporters out to be victims.  Not a man who says he will pay the legal fees if you "knock the hell out of [protestors]."

I try to stay out of politics as best as I can, especially as a registered Republican recently turned independent, but it's getting ridiculous.  And I refuse to sit back and not educate myself about the injustice and violence to God's people that is happening as a result of Donald Trump's tactics.  Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God" (Matt 5:9).  Violence is never the answer, but the Bernie Sanders campaign was not involved in the protest at Donald Trump's Chicago rally.  This protest was bound to happen in reaction to the awful violence and injustice occurring because of the words of Donald J. Trump.

Please educate yourselves about the horrible things happening due to the hate Trump is spreading.

Read the press release here: http://berniesanders.com/press-release/sanders-statement-donald-trump/

Thoughts from the bathtub: What important skill are we forgetting to train ourselves in?

I know I'm not the only one who does some deep brainstorming about the purposes of life while bathing.

Who's with me?

In fact, I've been practicing this from a young age: telling myself mid-shower that those girls in gym class are simply moody and might just be my friends next week; thinking about the fact that everything I've been told needs to be weighed and balanced within my own mind before accepting it as fact (wish I would've listened to my own advice at all times instead of faltering now and then with this one!)

So what was my method this time?

Bubble bath with peppermint oil and a pint of Graeter's ice cream in hand.

#igohard

My thoughts were going hard too with all the controversy I've been reading about/hearing about/watching regarding world news, presidential campaigns, halftime shows...

And sometimes my mind does this strange, "zooming out" thing-- where I feel a bit overwhelmed trying to sort information from both sides of the arguments, and trying to solidify some type of stance while soaking in our old-fashioned bathtub, or feeling the streams of the shower warm my mind.

And I start to think that maybe there are skills that humankind is not putting enough attention into-- or into which they are not putting enough importance.

One such skill is the ability to see issues or life experiences through the perspectives of others.  This skill is critical to social change, personal wellness, success in groups...

A poorly honed perspective skill leads to faltering friendships, destroyed marriages and romantic relationships, split churches, empty churches, political confusion, war, corruption, greed, racism, sexism, hate... my list could go on.

I know this skill takes a lifetime to perfect, but there are individuals around us that will live and die without ever giving this skill a single thought.  They will exist within the ideals they don't even consciously live by, and make their decisions and judgments without thinking about why they came to them.  They won't ever think about why their coworker or peer has a perspective or stance, or even why they have a particular perspective or stance.  They do not even register this skill as one to further for themself or for their goals.

Taking a second to breathe, humble oneself, and try one's best to try to understand another person's reasoning can make an incredible difference in our own lives-- as well as within our societies as a whole.  When we make a stand that this skill is important, others listen, and with more and more people working to hone their perspective skill, the more peace and justice we live amidst.

It sounds oversimplifying and idealist, but it's a start towards progress, equality, or just being able to help one more person feel heard and undivided.  Open-mindedness is not ignorant, a waste of time, or risky-- it is freeing for the host and the other party; it is an educated decision and is educating for all those who practice it; it leads to progress in society and social services, in religion and spirituality, in careers and in schools, and even in the study of medicine, mental health, and wellness programs.

Think with me here:

When a person is hired in a senior living facility, does it help to see an elderly woman as someone babbling on about the past-- lacking any reason for their perspective?  Or is it more enjoyable for both the resident and the employee for the woman to be seen as a beautiful individual full of stories, memories, and wisdom and lessons learned?; or as a being with a perspective that can help the employee understand her resident more-- no matter if it is right or wrong?

What about when a new person arrives at a church.  Does it help to incessantly urge them to another opinion for which you feel you have solid evidence, or to calmly hear out their own, acknowledging that they have reasons behind their thinking, and may even have a better social understanding than your years around the like-minded have given you?

Or how about politicians: does it help to hire someone within our government that gives long-winded, opinion-filled speeches without time for listening to those he or she may govern?  Where is their perspective skill and how do they expect to serve their people well without it?

Or what about our own friends: taking to social media and small groups their misinformed and perspective lacking dogma, jargon, spoon-fed phrases...  Having the audacity to speak about perspectives they have never studied or listened to-- perspectives of races they've never been, genders they've never lived as, peoples to which they've never spoken...

And that, my friends, is why I've learned to just take the ice cream in the bathtub with me.