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Showing posts with label College Loans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College Loans. Show all posts

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Was that pep talk for you? Or for me?-- Communication as a Means to Prevent Greed and Conflict.


I have to say-- it's getting colder and colder, and people seem to be getting greedier and greedier along with it. 

I don't have one specific, large instance where this has proved around me, but I just seem to be hearing more and more about money.  Sure, the economy is in a sad state.  Sure, jobs are scarce.  Sure, we have to get creative and employ different strategies in order to make money.

But this doesn't have to give our integrity the death sentence.

This is where I will make a claim that sounds pretty, but also has substance to it that I need you to take in and dissect.

Life is too short to spend chasing after a dollar that will screw you over in the long run anyways. Invest in something that will bring you purpose, excitement, challenges, and happiness.

Now, this statement can mean different things to different people.  For instance, "chasing after a dollar," "screw you over," "the long run," "investing," and pretty much the rest of that statement are all pieces of language that you can personalize to your own circumstance.  To me, "chasing after a dollar" means something much different than what "chasing after a dollar" would mean to an influential decision maker of a large corporation.  To me, "the long run" would mean something much different than it would to a teacher nearing retirement.  To me, "purpose, excitement, challenges, and happiness" all mean different things than they do to you.

This is why I love the ability that humans have to communicate in such broad and universal ways.  This brings me to another broad and universal statement that can concern each individual in a different way.

Good communication practices can help you in every single aspect of your life.  It can also lead to less greed and more fulfillment.

So how could conveying your message better lead to you being less greedy?  Well, of course, this can happen in different ways for different people, but let me offer one example.

Step One) Shannon has been searching for a job with no luck.  She finally decides to go after a job with no benefits, not enough money (by her current standards), but room to work her way up.  What Shannon realizes next is that she does not really know what her own ethics are or what she really wants in a job.  She begins a gradual downward spiral into work practices that she does not feel great about but that bring her enough money to pay off her loans. 

Step Two) Shannon has learned a hard lesson here, but through it has decided to make a change in her life.  She understands herself better and, in turn, now understands how to better communicate her wants and needs.  She makes less money in a more ethical position and cannot always make her loan payments (such is the post-grad life), but she feels better about her impact on those around her and through that lesson, has even begun to implement this strategy in her personal life with much success.    

Step Three) Shannon has been more blunt and individual in her job search because of her increased awareness of self and enhanced communication techniques.  She has earned a job that both supports her massive student loan payments and lets her feel ethical about what she does.  She notices that she thinks less greedily even though she has less money than she did to start off with and feels happier.

You may be thinking, Okay, Lauren.  That was... quaint... but that ain't happenin' for me, honey.

Hang in there.  It will happen.  And it is more likely to happen now if you continue to a) look after yourself, b) remain open and humble, and c) learn, learn, learn. 

Which leads me to a not so broad statement.

If you can't learn, love, and communicate effectively then you will inevitably cause harm to yourself and those around you.  

That's a bold claim, but I truly believe in its power and truth.  Toss your obsessions (like greed) that only get in the way of growing and developing.  Anything that promotes negativity or discomfort in the pursuit of your goals is not only not worth the ethical implications, but also the stress it does to your body, mind, spirit and environment. 

Just trust me-- you are going to be okay.  I believe that most of the conflict in this world (if not all) stems from fear.  Don't act out on your fear because it will cause pain in your life.  Look past your fear and trust that by making the right decision, and committing to learning, you are sowing an amazing future harvest.

But what about those that step in the way?  Well, you might not like my opinion on that.  See, because of my belief that anger stems from fear, I think better communication can at least attempt to help that.  While I am realistic and understand that conflict in the workplace and conflict in any other aspect of life is complicated and more gray than black and white, I also think that by communicating your reasoning for thinking or behaving in a certain way and helping the other person understand where you come from, you can, in many cases, solve the conflict.  Getting to the root of the problem is so important.  Why is the person stepping in your way?  And what factors in their life are behind that reasoning?  What don't they understand about your reasoning and involvement?  So many issues are caused by lack of understanding, education, and communication.

But, as I said, I understand that you cannot solve all conflicts in this matter because sometimes, they go so far into the gray zone that a longer process is going to have to take place, if any resolution will ever take place.  Sometimes it's better to just be the better person and back down, even if it means some sacrificing on your part.

In the end, what I'm telling you (and myself) is to simply continue to learn better communication strategies.  It will affect your ability to understand yourself and those around you, and (hopefully) will lead to less greed, more fulfillment- and less conflict and more rewards.

Be open.  Be loving.  Be calm.

Monday, March 25, 2013

My sixth "Confessions of a B. U. Grad" article!

Wouldn't be nice if life was as serene as this photo?

Published in the Bluffton News -- March 7, 2013

Negotiating your salary should be a skill taught in schools.  Recently, I faced interview questions asking what salary I would be comfortable with.  I just paused and nervously giggled for a bit (not one of my proudest moments).

After embarrassing myself, I told her that I wanted to feel supported by a salary and appreciated for the hard work that I promised her I would provide the company.  I felt pretty confident with that answer, but I’m fairly certain she wanted something more specific.  And I’m certain that a more specific answer could have helped me further as well.

So how should we answer this question?

Well the only thing we can truly do is to research, research, research.  The internet is actually a great place for credible salary information.  Once you get past the useless or uninformed websites, you can start to understand what you’re worth.  Look up information that is applicable to you.  Are you a recent graduate?  Are you someone with experience in the field already?  What are your qualifications and past salaries?  What are other new hires (or experienced hires) making in your industry and area?  What do you want in a benefits package?

 This can be grueling when you have many positions to which you are applying, but you should really start researching these particulars as soon as you start thinking about these positions.  Choose the ones that you want the most and match your personal career goals, and begin to search online, ask others you know, and do some personal reflection or soul searching.  I have found that one can never do too much questioning.  You need to dig in to the specifics and wash away all that vagueness.  Find your magic number and defend it!  As a previous English major, it almost feels to me like writing a college essay: forming a thesis and providing evidence to prove it throughout the paper.  Not to toot my own horn, but I truly think that English majors are prepared for much more than just writing and reading; their training can be applied to a large variety of different positions and life events. 
On another note, I want to share an update from another article I wrote.  This article detailed the depressing current status of job training.  I am happy to report that I took a part time job that I was not too excited about, but found that the training created an informed and excited spirit in me.  The training was thorough, personal, friendly, and helpful.  It inspired me.

Every day I am learning more, and noticing how life in a small community applies directly to a new life within a larger community.  I think we are all small community people at heart.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

YAY! I complete my bachelor's degree in one week! Sound the trumpets!

Me a month ago:

I'm graduating soon.

Psh!  SO WHAT?!
Thank the heavens above it's finally here.

Feels like I should have graduated FIFTY years ago!

Now I'm going to finally be treated like an adult!


Me today:

Welp, I graduate in a week.

Hmmmm, ok. 

That's cool that I won't be stressed over homework and stuff.

I won't have to deal with annoying people.

But I'm really going to miss my friends and my boyfriend.

Yeah, now I have to go get a job.  I have to start paying loan bills.  I have to move back in with my parents.  I have to live far away from friends I used to live in the same building with, and I can't walk to everywhere anymore.

Hmmmm, ok.

I actually really like learning.  I'm going to miss classes and homework and papers.  I'll miss projects and studying and group work.  I'm going to miss intellectual discussion and helpful professors around all the time.

Why did I complain about all this so much?

At least I won't have to live in a crowded, lonely, small, cold, messy room.  Oh wait... that's what my room at home is like.

At least my supportive family and snuggly dog will be there!  But even they get on my nerves sometimes.

At least I can have better food!  But it won't be readily available to me, with lots of variety, cooked, and served to me with a smile at any moment I'd like.

Why must everything have pros and cons?  Or maybe, it should just be my perspectives that shift.  Instead, every time I face change (or dwell in boring familiarity), I always seem to find the cons, and fixate on them.

Maybe, I should just look on the bright side and accept change with the inner strength of a WARRIOR WOMAN ready to prowl for success in any situation she is handed!

But, instead, I always seem to avoid the scariness of life with jokes, food, or even naps.  I like napping.  I like eating.  I like laughing.

IDEAS FOR WHAT TO DO WHEN I GET HOME FROM COLLEGE AND HAVE TO BE AN ADULT:

1)  Create food masterpieces without making the kitchen too much of a mess so I don't have to clean much!  A challenge fit for a high-stakes reality TV show!

2)  Take a bath.  NO.  Take a bubble bath.  I'm also going to play in the water with toys like I did when I was little, giving the toys different voices and epic stories like the Barbie who needed her Ken doll to go to the moon to get a chemical that could cure her ridiculously rare and obscure disease.  (I'm not joking... I remember creating this when I was in elementary.)

3)  Write a song.  Yeah, I've done this sooooo many times, but THIS one will really be good!  And, I won't lose the paper I write it on.  Genius.

4)  Get up to the sun shining.  Do my eyebrows.  Take a long, luxurious shower.  Shave.  Do a face mask.  Lotion entire body.  Practice make up tricks learned on youtube.  Secretly spray oneself with mother's perfume.  Do toenails and fingernails fancily.  Pick out a new outfit combination.  Try to walk in heels.  Do hair laboriously with FIFTY different hair products to protect it until nearly happy with it (I'll never be completely happy with my hair).  Dance around in front of mirror.  Practice British accent.  Reapply makeup as it has probably faded already by now.  Then take it all off, take another shower, and go to sleep because I'm wore out by now.

5)  Write a novel.  About something that makes absolutely no sense.  But I trick everyone into thinking it makes sense.  And THEN, when they try to make a movie of it, everyone realizes just how incredibly ridiculous it is and also, how persuasive words are and how much cooler books are than movies.  MUHAHAHAHAHAHA.

6)  Solve a mystery.  I've always wanted to do this.  Next stop, mysterious woods behind house!  [Looks at creepy woods where I saw blanket and tent at before and heard noises.]  Meh, maybe I'll just watch Sherlock again...

7)  Make some money by creating something!  I've always wanted to make my own livelihood by using my own creativity.  I need to invent something!  Or make some sort of artwork!  Hmmm... I'll take a photography class!  But then, I'd have to go back to school......

8)  Set a world record.  Maybe I could make a name for myself this way!  What about woman with most loan interest?  Or woman who cries herself to sleep the most?  Or, no I've got it!  Woman with most time spent on internet!  [Pathetic violin music.]

9)  Go live in a cabin alone in the woods.  This is a recurring theme in literature, so it has to be good!

10)  Do other people's homework for them.  I think this sounds kind of fun.  Kind of immoral, but still kind of fun.  As long as there's money involved.

[By the way, if you could not tell yet, all of these ideas are completely sarcastic.  I know that I will get a job eventually and this next step in my life will go more smoothly than I imagine.  I trust in God and I trust in the hard work I have done myself these past four and a half years.  It's just funny to write in our own moments of fear.  I've found it to be absolutely true that humor is just relating to other people in exagerrated ways.]

Here.  Have a puppy picture.

 
Awwwwwwwwwwwww.  MUST.  CUDDLE.  PUPPY.  >:)
 

Friday, November 25, 2011

A Future of Possibility: Read About My Intensely Serious, Sarcasm- and Hyperbole-Free Journey to Peace-Inducing Self Discovery-- and Gettin' Filthy Rich $$$

I am a senior English and Writing major at an expensive university who is exploring the possibility of not teaching in my future career.

Yep, I'm one of those.

All those jokes about English majors now apply to me... fully.

I've joined the ranks of starving artists and further-education-enslaved debt accruers.

When people ask me what I'm going to do after graduation, I will now hear that semi-concerned, semi-mocking question that puts racing heartbeats, sweating palms, and longings for an escape route into motion for vague degree candidates everywhere: "So, what can you do with that major?"

Furthermore, parents will look at me on the street, with my mascara- and tear-stained cheeks, notebook in my back pocket, unique (odd) clothing, bag full of books, but empty wallet, and point me out to their children, saying in hushed tones, "See [insert any U.S. president's last name for the child's first name here], this is why you should go into a science-related field.  Writers become depressed and financially unstable because they think they can save people's lives with their writing; doctors actually save people's lives and make gargantuan amounts of money."