Your Education Ain't Complete... T-t-t-teachers CANNOT Show You... They Gotta Meet a Standard!

Read the below article-- it has some great stuff in it.  Then, if you choose, read my following rant.

A Teacher's Opinion in The Hartford Courant

For me, this could be known as, "Why I did not finish out my English Education major in college and instead chose to pursue writing." I'm still working in a school and thinking seriously of pursuing an Intervention Specialist license, but this government control in our school's is getting ridiculous and I've about had it. You cannot judge educational success with numbers or standards. Instead, you should do a survey of students post-graduation to see if they are happy with the way their education affected their life. They are putting a definition on what "skills" and "success" are, but those are different to everyone... To think that some of the amazing, life changing lessons that I enduring in my education will now need to be eliminated because they don't support the government-mandated "standards" makes me sick. This is why the disparity in academic achievement of differing socioeconomic statuses, differing mental and emotion stabilities, and differing learning abilities and intelligences continues to grow. It makes you seriously wonder whether the government wants logical-thinking, economical, follower types to be the most successful in education and therefore more likely to be employed. Phew... sorry that was definitely a rant.

My sixth "Confessions of a B. U. Grad" article!

Wouldn't be nice if life was as serene as this photo?

Published in the Bluffton News -- March 7, 2013

Negotiating your salary should be a skill taught in schools.  Recently, I faced interview questions asking what salary I would be comfortable with.  I just paused and nervously giggled for a bit (not one of my proudest moments).

After embarrassing myself, I told her that I wanted to feel supported by a salary and appreciated for the hard work that I promised her I would provide the company.  I felt pretty confident with that answer, but I’m fairly certain she wanted something more specific.  And I’m certain that a more specific answer could have helped me further as well.

So how should we answer this question?

Well the only thing we can truly do is to research, research, research.  The internet is actually a great place for credible salary information.  Once you get past the useless or uninformed websites, you can start to understand what you’re worth.  Look up information that is applicable to you.  Are you a recent graduate?  Are you someone with experience in the field already?  What are your qualifications and past salaries?  What are other new hires (or experienced hires) making in your industry and area?  What do you want in a benefits package?

 This can be grueling when you have many positions to which you are applying, but you should really start researching these particulars as soon as you start thinking about these positions.  Choose the ones that you want the most and match your personal career goals, and begin to search online, ask others you know, and do some personal reflection or soul searching.  I have found that one can never do too much questioning.  You need to dig in to the specifics and wash away all that vagueness.  Find your magic number and defend it!  As a previous English major, it almost feels to me like writing a college essay: forming a thesis and providing evidence to prove it throughout the paper.  Not to toot my own horn, but I truly think that English majors are prepared for much more than just writing and reading; their training can be applied to a large variety of different positions and life events. 

On another note, I want to share an update from another article I wrote.  This article detailed the depressing current status of job training.  I am happy to report that I took a part time job that I was not too excited about, but found that the training created an informed and excited spirit in me.  The training was thorough, personal, friendly, and helpful.  It inspired me.

Every day I am learning more, and noticing how life in a small community applies directly to a new life within a larger community.  I think we are all small community people at heart.

Confessions of a B. U. Grad: The Way I See It

Study long and hard, my dear.

Published in the Bluffton News -- February 21, 2013

So, now you’ve received a job.  It doesn’t matter if it’s part-time or full-time, nine-to-five or third shift, permanent or seasonal, your dream job or just a way to make money; no matter what kind of job it is, your work is not done.  Sure, you worked hard on that resume, sent it out to over fifty places, bared your soul on some applications and questionnaires, finally got some interviews after a month or two of waiting, and survived the background check, calls to your references, and the ultra-personal collection of either urine or saliva to test you for drugs.  So, now you’ve received a job, and now, you’re on to the beginning of a whole other predicament.

I’m speaking from experience.

This step is the most important, and unfortunately, there is not much advice for it.

Something I have noticed in most of my past jobs is the lack of training. Adaptability is so important, because with most positions, you are either going to sink or swim— and a new job starts off shallow and rapidly becomes as deep as a quarry.

Why do jobs lack training?

I have my suspicions, but I do not claim to have any expertise in this area.  The way I see it, supervisors have too much to do and too little time to assist others on a basic, personal level.  Perhaps they were thrown into the job at one time with no training or experience, so they feel that you too are supposed to have the same disorienting experience.

The phrase “supposed to” needs to be thrown out of the English language.

Lack of training or assistance when one starts a job is not only detrimental to the new hire, but it negatively impacts any customer, company, colleague, manager, supervisee, etc. involved. 

At Bluffton, I learned that supporting and assisting others whenever they needed it was incredibly important to the smoothness of not only the workplace but to a community.  The way I see it, wherever two or more people gather, a community exists. 

So, now you’ve received a job.  Most likely, now it all begins.  You have a lot to learn and not much training to do so.  If you too want to follow the model that Bluffton taught me, simply be patient, friendly, calm in hectic times, humble when you make mistakes (and there will be those times), hardworking when you know what you’re doing, and observant and aware when you do not.  The way I see it, the best strategy is to be calm and understanding with everyone above you, anyone under your supervision, and, most of all, yourself.

Confessions of a B. U. Grad: Everything Happens For a Reason

Published in the Bluffton News -- February 7, 2013

I never realized how spread out the buildings in my area were until I moved back home after Bluffton. 

If I want to work out, I have to either drive a lengthy distance to an overpriced gym or clear my floor enough to get in some crunches, lunges, squats, and some sad attempts at my own created cardio (i.e. dancing to international hip hop or rap—that way I have no idea what they are saying). 

If I want to take a walk, I should probably drive to a park to do so because cars run stop signs in my neighborhood (yielding to pedestrians is only an option when you’re not in a hurry, apparently—and everyone is in a hurry) and there are many large dogs that are not well-monitored.  Don’t believe me on the latter bit?  Ask my grandfather who walks around with a cane as a means of self-defense not because he has trouble walking.

If I want to meet up with a friend, I have to drive over to their house.  This gets expensive with gas prices-- especially when most of your friends live far away thanks to college.  For my local friends, I sometimes have to stoop to tricking them into carpooling somewhere.  This usually means going out to dinner, shopping, or seeing a movie, however—all money-losing ventures.  That’s when I just start relying on the internet for my social needs.

It’s safe to say that I feel as though I live in the internet now.  I wish I would have kept a tally, but I have probably applied to over a hundred jobs by now.  On top of that, I thirst for the learning I was doing in college so I have been learning from TED talks, blogs, vlogs (video blogs), documentaries and more.  I even write my To-Do lists online now—no more Post-It notes or planners.  I also find recipes to horrify my very traditional family and songs to try out on the piano.  Whenever I have a question, I google it.  If and when the internet goes down, I will be subjected to a confused existence.  I am indebted to my parents for the internet connection, because without it, that would be just another convenience I’d have to drive to instead of walk to after leaving Bluffton.

This brings me to a subject that I have been interested in lately- minimalist living.  It truly fascinates me that people can cut back on “stuff” and be happy living in a small boat, a shed, a 90-square-foot apartment, a bus.  I suppose I experienced something similar in my closet-sized, dorm single in Bren-Dell Hall.       

The idea is also appealing to me because it would allow me to own my own home at a young age.  I already have college loans that I will be paying off for the rest of my life—why add a mortgage?  This is the reason for many people who have subscribed to the new fad-- a tiny-home way of life.  They also get a very customizable home out of it.  One teenage boy built a tiny home on wheels by himself with plans and tutorials he found online.  One couple made a home out of a school bus and raised the roof with parts from discarded RVs and vans.  Another family made their home out of all recycled items, and yet another made a foldable home out of an old chicken coop.  For the latter home, the one-room home had walls that contained all their storage, their bed, their full sized kitchen, full shower and bath, and more available to be unfolded from the walls or tucked back away into the wall storage system.  Some have called this method the home-in-a-box.  I am just glad they were able to get the smell of farm animals out.

After obsessing over these videos for a bit, I look at my room.  I see books and mementos, clothes and shoes, a TV I have been meaning to sell, and storage that I have not looked through in years.  I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Something that I learned from living in a small dorm in Bluffton is that I really do not use as much stuff as I think.  I could write a list of the items that I actually use on one sheet of paper, and I do not think I would really miss the rest of my “stuff” if I accidentally lost it.  However, when I go to throw it away I think, “Maybe I could sell this and make some money,” or “Maybe I really will need this someday,” or even the dreaded, “I could make something out of this someday!” but it sits on my dresser collecting dust instead of transforming into something creative and useful.  I must confess: I have a difficult time parting with “things.”  I am a sentimental person and my mother always taught me to be appreciative and practical with what I am given.

However, these extraneous piles of stuff do nothing for me but add more fog to my life.  It’s a fog that gets in the way of creativity, productivity, and my ability to move on.  It’s a fog that only adds to the uncertainty of my future. 

It’s hard to describe this sensation but living with a lot of stuff makes my current transitioning period even more difficult than it already is.  I see items from my childhood and outdated furniture—familiarity that has been comforting in the past but only holds me back as I attempt to accept myself as an adult with an impending career.

This is why I have planned to rid myself of “stuff.”  It’s a scary and sizeable feat, but I believe it to be just another step in becoming an independent woman secured in her own adulthood.  I am also well on my way to becoming a substitute teacher at some local schools and a private piano teacher from home, excitingly enough, so I am starting to feel some much-needed closure. 

Leaving Bluffton was harder than leaving home.  Let me explain:  When I left home for Bluffton, it was a new, exciting experience.  Home still existed for me and still held out its arms for me when I needed it.  Now, however, I do not have a room to go back to in Bluffton.  Someone else lives in my room.  I no longer am signed up for classes.  I go to Bluffton to visit friends, but my i.d. card no longer works at The Commons, The Sommer Center, or The Musselman Library (though friends swiped for a meal for me in the cafeteria, student employees allowed me to use the fitness center, and the library still allowed me to take out some resources last time I was there).  The graciousness of Bluffton University to still accept as a part of its family is much appreciated, but when I visit, there is still something missing.  I am no longer living there.  It’s a sad realization, and only a reminder that I must go back home and begin a new kind of life. 

This new life is slowly starting to take shape, though.  The lessons that I learned at Bluffton and the culture I inherited during my four and a half years there are puzzle pieces perfectly fitting where my adult needs leave gaping holes.  Isn’t it strange how one stage of our life always leads to the next in such scary but ultimately perfect ways?  The cliché is true: Everything happens for a reason.

Confessions of a B. U. Grad: The Truth Sets Free

The dangers of paperwork!!!

Published in the Bluffton News -- January 24, 2013

Interviews seem to all go pretty similarly.  They ask for your strengths and weaknesses, how you performed at other jobs, how you would perform during a specific scenario likely to arise in that job.  They may ask, “If we asked others about you, how do you think they would describe you?" 

As I answer these questions, I feel as though I probably answer them differently every interview, and I probably answer them similarly to other job candidates interviewing for the position. 

What are your weaknesses?  You want to be very honest with this question, but you also want the job.  I am certain that people do not actually list their true, human-like qualities.  I could never imagine someone answering, “I have a problem with lateness” or “I am not a morning person.”  What about, “I tend to get really lazy towards the end of the week,” or “In the past, I have not gotten along with coworkers”?  I can envision the knowing looks of potential employers and the immediate personal wall that would be built in between the job candidate and the potential employer as soon as he or she stated their true weaknesses.  This is a competition, not a confessional.

Competition makes job searching difficult.  Interviewers must make themselves out to be better than every other candidate in a small amount of time.  When I was in Bluffton, I did not really need to be competitive.  I worked hard on my own coursework, worked one-on-one with my advisor to plan classes, worked with others in a group at times, and was evaluated by my own work—not on my work compared to others’ work.  If the rest of the world worked like Bluffton, the world would be a much better place.

The difference may be due to the amount of people looking for work compared to the small community of people in Bluffton.  Politicians make promises that more jobs will become available soon, that the economy is going to get better soon— soon, soon, soon.  In the presence of this impending shadow of uncertainty, I come to a question that many other job-seekers arrive at—Should I just go to graduate school now?

Thankfully, I have a couple of job prospects at this time; however, I am not getting my hopes up.  In the village of Bluffton, it was fairly easy to hold on to hope.  Walking down the street, attending the university, or visiting Bluffton’s small businesses, I encounter friendliness and smiles.  In Bluffton, I learned to trust people and to trust my own abilities, as well.  How can I take these priceless, gained positives from a small community to a large community full of competition, selfishness, and negativity?

I know that I went to Bluffton University for a reason.  I lived in its quaint community to learn something about people, and to learn something about life.  The university’s sculpture, Constellation Earth, represents this life lesson to me well.  The seven children holding hands in a globe shape represent the seven continents of the earth.  Though this figure is a replica of Granlund’s sculpture in Nagasaki, Japan’s Peace Park, it certainly fits Bluffton, but also the rest of the world.  The figures in the sculpture are nude, symbolizing that underneath it all, we are all the same.  We all have dreams, needs, and fears.  When the world necessitates competition, we can work alongside competition with two mediums.  We can choose to continue our positive, honest, and humble natures (like those that I fostered in Bluffton), or we can choose to change ourselves into something negative, manipulated by a need for power in difficult times.     

I refuse to leave what I learned from Bluffton behind.  I remain hopeful in my job search and plan to stay honest, positive, hardworking, and humble when faced with difficult times like what I face as I search for a job in a difficult market.

The truth sets free.  

Confessions of a B. U. Grad: Missing Bluffton Already

So, I've decided to post samples of my column "Confessions of a B. U. Grad" that I am writing for the Bluffton News since graduating in December of 2012.  I have been sad that I cannot share these tales of transition with friends.  So, friends: please read and comment and rate these posts, because feedback means the world to me and so do you!  Please keep me in your prayers as I face a difficult time emerging into the job world.  Advice, encouragement, consoling, and humor are all appreciated.

Hey look-- it's me! :)

CONFESSIONS OF A B.U. GRAD: MISSING BLUFFTON ALREADY  

Published in the Bluffton News -- January 10, 2013

* Editor's Note: The author, Lauren Canaday, finished her studies at Bluffton University this past December after pursuing degrees in both English and Writing.  She interned with the Bluffton News throughout her final semester of school and wrote several articles for the paper during that time.

Life has its way of surprising us.  As a Bluffton University December graduate, I was anxious for the day when I was done with seemingly endless papers, ill-timed exams, and a late-night, early-morning schedule.  I looked forward to home-cooked meals, more time to rest and think, time spent with my family and dog, and, of course, being closer to more job opportunities.

I found graduating to be a bold transition, though, and not at all as I had thought it would be.  My plans were to settle in at home with my family effortlessly, and to search for a job peacefully over a cup of coffee as I felt the stress of a difficult semester vacate my body.  My personal forecasts were too confident.  I found difficulty in my return home, and I was already missing my personal freedom, my classes, and the village of Bluffton.

I feel as though I must confess my prior complaints of Bluffton’s village.  During the majority of four and a half years that I lived in Bluffton, I grumbled about the distance to a shopping center or Wal Mart, the limited hours of fast food restaurants, or the absence of a place for students to study at into the night.  To be honest, as a city girl, I was used to availability and convenience.

However, when I left the village of Bluffton and moved back to the Toledo area, I realized that Bluffton had had a larger impact on me than I had foreseen.   I found that something was missing at home.  In Bluffton, I had grown accustomed to feeling welcome; I had found an ease to be myself; I had experienced a place where I could become more independent, more purposeful, more “me.”

In Bluffton, there was less pressure to force oneself into the rat race of a steady job, and more emphasis on learning and preparing for the transition into a fitting career.  I no longer had professors with offices or homes within walking distance.  I no longer had a community around me that had observed what I was capable of and encouraged me to tread forward to larger and larger opportunities.  I had well-meaning, loving parents whose thoughts and rules sometimes clashed with mine, and who continued to try to help me by making the bulk of our conversations about the urgency of finding a job before loan bills filled our mailbox.

In reflection, I concluded that the village of Bluffton is a place that has managed to avoid much of the rush.  It is a tight-knit community that greets everyone with a smile, and promotes self-sufficiency and patience.  Its small businesses allow for more personal assistance, and when you see its employees on the streets, at a restaurant, or at Community Market, they often remember you.  It is a place where people deserve more than a hurried “excuse me” or especially an absence of any recognition of existence.

While Bluffton is not perfect, its pros certainly outweigh its cons with magnitude.  Even the ability to see people smiling with their families or walking their dogs around campus was a large positive for me.  These little moments left large holes in my life when I went home.  As for the perceived con of lack of convenience, I was surely wrong.  At home, I no longer had the ability to walk or bike to everything I needed, and I certainly never had the variety of foods and personal service that I received in the Commons of Bluffton University (cooking personalized meals for myself was only fun the first few days).  I could no longer simply walk somewhere to use a computer if mine was not charged or not working for some reason.  I no longer had free service to my computer, either, and pizza delivery had a fee, the library was a car ride away with nearer due dates, and trees, flowers, and empty spaces were fewer and more likely to be filled with the smells of industry.  There were no Blaze of Lights, no Customer Appreciation day, no free academic forums or concerts to attend, and certainly no acrobatic squirrels of various hues to inspire a giggle or two.

I took the Bluffton atmosphere for granted, I think—its aesthetics, its security, its peace and quiet.  As soon as I left, I realized the supposed negative aspects of Bluffton were truly positives that I had grown accustomed to and actually yearned for in my life.  I wanted to continue going to classes, living in a small area, and being close (sometimes just feet away) to friends that challenged me and filled my life with new knowledge and viewpoints.

I came to Bluffton because it was the closest Christian university.  While it was not at all what I expected, it was what I needed.  I formulated my own beliefs, not just those of my parents, and I learned what it meant to be my adult self, the creation I believe I was meant to be.  I stumbled upon new dreams, goals, and ideas.  I fostered a new skill set and name for myself.  I learned a new way of life.

I will continue to visit friends in Bluffton as long as I have them there.  I truly miss and appreciate all the university and village did for me, even when it was just a simple smile or a genuine presentation of the question “How are you?”  While I know these elements exist everywhere, because hope exists everywhere, some places have a larger, more concentrated volume than others.  This is true of Bluffton University and the village in which it resides.  I ask of you to remember, joyfully observe, and continue this tradition on for generations to come.  Bluffton University is full of many individuals like me, who experience a new atmosphere, grow to love it, and live in a reality of constant transition.         

YAY! I complete my bachelor's degree in one week! Sound the trumpets!

Me a month ago:

I'm graduating soon.

Psh!  SO WHAT?!
Thank the heavens above it's finally here.

Feels like I should have graduated FIFTY years ago!

Now I'm going to finally be treated like an adult!


Me today:

Welp, I graduate in a week.

Hmmmm, ok. 

That's cool that I won't be stressed over homework and stuff.

I won't have to deal with annoying people.

But I'm really going to miss my friends and my boyfriend.

Yeah, now I have to go get a job.  I have to start paying loan bills.  I have to move back in with my parents.  I have to live far away from friends I used to live in the same building with, and I can't walk to everywhere anymore.

Hmmmm, ok.

I actually really like learning.  I'm going to miss classes and homework and papers.  I'll miss projects and studying and group work.  I'm going to miss intellectual discussion and helpful professors around all the time.

Why did I complain about all this so much?

At least I won't have to live in a crowded, lonely, small, cold, messy room.  Oh wait... that's what my room at home is like.

At least my supportive family and snuggly dog will be there!  But even they get on my nerves sometimes.

At least I can have better food!  But it won't be readily available to me, with lots of variety, cooked, and served to me with a smile at any moment I'd like.

Why must everything have pros and cons?  Or maybe, it should just be my perspectives that shift.  Instead, every time I face change (or dwell in boring familiarity), I always seem to find the cons, and fixate on them.

Maybe, I should just look on the bright side and accept change with the inner strength of a WARRIOR WOMAN ready to prowl for success in any situation she is handed!

But, instead, I always seem to avoid the scariness of life with jokes, food, or even naps.  I like napping.  I like eating.  I like laughing.

IDEAS FOR WHAT TO DO WHEN I GET HOME FROM COLLEGE AND HAVE TO BE AN ADULT:

1)  Create food masterpieces without making the kitchen too much of a mess so I don't have to clean much!  A challenge fit for a high-stakes reality TV show!

2)  Take a bath.  NO.  Take a bubble bath.  I'm also going to play in the water with toys like I did when I was little, giving the toys different voices and epic stories like the Barbie who needed her Ken doll to go to the moon to get a chemical that could cure her ridiculously rare and obscure disease.  (I'm not joking... I remember creating this when I was in elementary.)

3)  Write a song.  Yeah, I've done this sooooo many times, but THIS one will really be good!  And, I won't lose the paper I write it on.  Genius.

4)  Get up to the sun shining.  Do my eyebrows.  Take a long, luxurious shower.  Shave.  Do a face mask.  Lotion entire body.  Practice make up tricks learned on youtube.  Secretly spray oneself with mother's perfume.  Do toenails and fingernails fancily.  Pick out a new outfit combination.  Try to walk in heels.  Do hair laboriously with FIFTY different hair products to protect it until nearly happy with it (I'll never be completely happy with my hair).  Dance around in front of mirror.  Practice British accent.  Reapply makeup as it has probably faded already by now.  Then take it all off, take another shower, and go to sleep because I'm wore out by now.

5)  Write a novel.  About something that makes absolutely no sense.  But I trick everyone into thinking it makes sense.  And THEN, when they try to make a movie of it, everyone realizes just how incredibly ridiculous it is and also, how persuasive words are and how much cooler books are than movies.  MUHAHAHAHAHAHA.

6)  Solve a mystery.  I've always wanted to do this.  Next stop, mysterious woods behind house!  [Looks at creepy woods where I saw blanket and tent at before and heard noises.]  Meh, maybe I'll just watch Sherlock again...

7)  Make some money by creating something!  I've always wanted to make my own livelihood by using my own creativity.  I need to invent something!  Or make some sort of artwork!  Hmmm... I'll take a photography class!  But then, I'd have to go back to school......

8)  Set a world record.  Maybe I could make a name for myself this way!  What about woman with most loan interest?  Or woman who cries herself to sleep the most?  Or, no I've got it!  Woman with most time spent on internet!  [Pathetic violin music.]

9)  Go live in a cabin alone in the woods.  This is a recurring theme in literature, so it has to be good!

10)  Do other people's homework for them.  I think this sounds kind of fun.  Kind of immoral, but still kind of fun.  As long as there's money involved.

[By the way, if you could not tell yet, all of these ideas are completely sarcastic.  I know that I will get a job eventually and this next step in my life will go more smoothly than I imagine.  I trust in God and I trust in the hard work I have done myself these past four and a half years.  It's just funny to write in our own moments of fear.  I've found it to be absolutely true that humor is just relating to other people in exagerrated ways.]

Here.  Have a puppy picture.

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.  MUST.  CUDDLE.  PUPPY.  >:)

 

Things I Just Don't Understand

Simply put, these are things I just don't understand. 

Rate or comment!


1)  Why do girls automatically hate any other girl that seems to have a happy moment?  Do we not ever have happy moments ourselves to satisfy us?  Besides, don't we understand that those girls most likely are just as insecure as we are?  Just accept your own happiness.

2)  How does the garbage can get full so quickly?  Seriously.  I buy a larger garbage can but it seems to need taken out even more than the last one.

3)  Why does the "Elmo's World" song get in my head all the time?  I've never even watched that show.

4)  Why are some of the ugliest clothing items the most expensive?  Cream-colored, oversized, camoflauge-lined, scratchy sweater with sequins, buttons, and zippers in impractical places?-- Sure let me get out my credit card so I can buy one for every day of the week.

5)  Why do guys expect girls to get ready as quickly as they do?  We use more shower products, shave more areas, wear more clothing items, we pluck our eyebrows, apply various different types of makeup, and if we have long, naturally curly hair-- there's no way we're going to brush it and go.  Oh, you like what my hair looks like completely natural?  How did you get ahold of my middle school pictures? 
Lord knows my hair hasn't been without products since before I watched "The Princess Diaries."

6)  Along those same lines, hair brushes are not magic.  Eyeliner is not magic.  Every beauty product unfortunately has to be used with another one.  So don't get excited.

7)  Why do I grind my teeth at night?  And don't say stress-- I know fully well that I'm stressed.  But what exactly is going on in my mind that makes it seem like a perfectly great idea to scrape my teeth on each other until it hurts-- and makes that awful noise that makes me want to run my fingers down a chalkboard just for relief?  Anything but that!

8)  Why buy something just because it's cheap?  It's going to end up on the bottom of your closet floor, and you only wear about 15 different outfits over and over anyways.  Bargains are simply awesome... if they happen to be attached to something you need.

9)  Why is cleaning so awful?  It gives me a better environment to live in.  I can be more productive in a clean room.  I absolutely love being in a clean room.  I don't like stealing plastic utensils as gnats cover my used utensils I haven't washed in three weeks. 
Sometimes cleaning is a stress relief, even! 
And why do I only clean when I have to do something else?  Or when someone comes over and is sitting on a clothes-covered dorm chair?  Why is it the seemingly biggest tragedy in the world to put away laundry I just washed?

10)  Why is TV so awful?  I'm not even going to go there.  I could get my Ph.D. in Television Degradation. 

11)  Why do people argue over absolutely EVERYTHING?  Why do we have to have only Republicans and Democrats?  Why does only one view have to be the all-encompassing truth?  What if neither are true?  What if a little bit of both are true?  How the heck will we ever know the absolute truth?  Why do we hate people with other views like its a sport and we're training for the olympic event in that sport?  Why do we not even realize that we are hating?

12)  Why can't I ever get away with a prank or a joke?  I couldn't lie to save my life.  I blush and quiver and smile and giggle.   
Isn't there a story about a president and a tree and the line "I cannot tell a lie"...?  (Wow, A.D.D. moment).

13)  Why do we kiss?  I mean, have you ever thought of the first kiss moment... how did they figure that out?  Oh, well we eat with our mouths and talk with mouths, so we might as well slap them together and see what other great things can come about!

14)  Was Black Friday created so people would be out and about all sweaty, nervous, competitive, and physical in order to cancel out their Thanksgiving Day weight gain?  Hmmmmmm.

15)  Why are conspiracy theories so cool?

16)  Why are murder mysteries so cool?

17)  Why was every single thing in the entire world so scary when I was little?

18)  Why is every single thing in the entire world so scary now?

19)  Wherefore art Shakespeare teacheth so often in adolescent education?  I may be an English teacher or professor someday but so help me God, I do not want to teach Shakespeare.

20)  Why do so many girls love cheesy romantic comedies?  There's so much I could say.  Maybe I'll leave that for another blog.

21)  Why do restaurants give you so much ice?  I want to taste my drink, not a watered down version of my drink.  I also would rather not have ice come up and smack me in the face.

22)  Why do guys think aggression makes them masculine and showing emotions makes them feminine?

23)  Why are muffins so bad for you?  They taste like the healthier version of a cupcake, but they aren't.  Muffins are deceptive liars!  Well, that was redundantly repetitive.  ;)

24)  Why do I always seem to think that there are more than 24 hours in a day that day?

25)  Why do I think I can change the outcome in a movie if I pay attention really well and hope that the character doesn't make the wrong choice that they made the last time I watched it.

26)  Why do we take pictures of absolutely everything?  I am so guilty of this.  Sometimes I miss real life moments on a trip because I am looking at the LCD screen of the camera.

27)  Why does it feel like a threat to our survival when we talk to someone and they don't hear us and answer?  Everyone around you has had that happen to them, too!  They don't want to kill you and take off with your liver just because you were accidentally ignored.

28)  Why do people take out their anger on their most precious items?  Darn you, game!  It's your fault that I lost this round even though you are completely unbiased and I just didn't do well because I've been playing this game for six hours and I'm tired.  I will throw this controller against the wall and then jump on it until it is in 374 pieces.  That'll teach you to think twice about hurting my pride!  Oh wait.

29)  Why am I writing this?

30)  Why is the word "why" spelled w-h-y?

Hope you enjoyed.  :)  Give me ideas for another blog!!!

A Future of Possibility: Read About My Intensely Serious, Sarcasm- and Hyperbole-Free Journey to Peace-Inducing Self Discovery-- and Gettin' Filthy Rich $$$

I am a senior English and Writing major at an expensive university who is exploring the possibility of not teaching in my future career.

Yep, I'm one of those.

All those jokes about English majors now apply to me... fully.

I've joined the ranks of starving artists and further-education-enslaved debt accruers.

When people ask me what I'm going to do after graduation, I will now hear that semi-concerned, semi-mocking question that puts racing heartbeats, sweating palms, and longings for an escape route into motion for vague degree candidates everywhere: "So, what can you do with that major?"

Furthermore, parents will look at me on the street, with my mascara- and tear-stained cheeks, notebook in my back pocket, unique (odd) clothing, bag full of books, but empty wallet, and point me out to their children, saying in hushed tones, "See [insert any U.S. president's last name for the child's first name here], this is why you should go into a science-related field.  Writers become depressed and financially unstable because they think they can save people's lives with their writing; doctors actually save people's lives and make gargantuan amounts of money."

True Life: I'm a Vampire

Welcome to my blog!  I do have to admit that it will be quite difficult for me to not have structure, and even when I try to not have structure, it will look like a form of structure (though there will be some mistakes, believe me).  So just bear with me... I was trying to be quirky.  ;)

So... this is the last day before I go back to Bluffton!  I cannot believe it!  Each summer seems to go by even more quickly than the last.  This aging process and the fact that time is unable to be escaped is kind of scary!  I continue to remind myself to stop thinking about the future because when it comes, it's the present!  And I've been waiting for this present for a while. 

I'm 21, and I'm a senior in college.  I thought a lot of things would be different than what they are today, but I need to remember that God's plan is SO much better than my own.  I need to relish each day!  I need to be the person I want to be NOW! 

No magical event is going to make me the person I want to be in the future; I have to work towards becoming that person over time! :)  I listened to a sermon online last night that a friend sent me, and a quote that stood out to me was this: "The present will become the past and be present in your future!"  That's kind of confusing at first, but if we focus on it we realize that it is so true.  We need to work on our relationships, getting our consistent sin life cleared up, our goals and priorities, the way we act, our heart, our mind, our relationship with Christ all in order NOW!  Because the future is coming soon, and if we are not prepared internally to handle it, then we won't accomplish all those goals God put on our hearts.  I know I'm going to work harder from now on because someday I'm going to be doing great things for Christ (and I can be doing great things today!)

Having said that, today I feel lazy.  Tired and lazy.  I've already packed quite a bit, but though I'm all pumped up about working on the internal, I'm not very pumped up about working on this room of mine.  It does get easier now that I've packed a bajillion times to go to and from Bluffton, but I feel like taking a nap rather than making sure everything is in order.  My dad told me not to take a nap because then tonight I won't be able to sleep.  I don't sleep at night very often anyways.

And for that, my father is actually to blame.

Let me explain.

You see, my dad turned me into a vampire.

The other day I watched a movie called Dracula's Daughter with my dad.  It actually wasn't too bad.  She didn't really enjoy being a vampire, but in the end, her obsession over an intelligent man made her go off the deep end a little.  She wanted him to help her, but instead of just asking for help, she took his love interest hostage and tried to capture him and wisk him away when he came to save her.  She had a Phantom of the Opera quality to her... plus fake eyelashes and eyebrows too high for her face (why did they want them to look surprised all the time in those days?).

Growing up, I watched a lot of old movies with my parents.  It was so special to me... especially because it made me set apart from my age group.  No one else knew who Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart, or Clark Gable was... they were too busy obsessing over Justin Timberlake and the likes (No Justin, it's not "Gonna Be [You]").  Old movies were like a secret world to me, where I could learn about love, comedy, science ficton, classic literature, and even God!

I usually watched old '50s science fiction and horror with my dad.  The Wolfman, The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Incredible Shrinking Man, Frankenstein, Godzilla, The Twilight Zone (I was the only fifth grader who knew what the real meaning of "To Serve Man"), etc. etc.  So I kinda of blame my dad for my obsession with vampires and such.  Sometimes, we would be watching a movie and then right when it was getting to the climax, I'd hear those fateful, heart-dropping three words: "brush.  your.  teeth."

Why on earth would I go to bed now?  What's going to happen?  I need to study this, Dad-- I'm going to be a famous writer/actress/director/leader of the free world someday!

So, I became a little bit of a rebel.  I had smarts, why not use them?  I would whine and plead and negotiate and present my case. 

Let's just say that that didn't work.

So I started staying up in my room.  My brother wasn't always the most excited about it (we shared a room then), but I was usually pretty good at talking him into it.  I was watching the end of movies, music videos (I liked country then...), TV shows, and even the news!... all with the volume down.  Every so often, I'd sneak to turn the volume up a little, and my mom would sneak into our room to tell us to turn it down a little (my parents are opposites in many respects haha).

As I grew older, this obsession with staying up didn't dwindle.  I just couldn't fall asleep at night.  I had so many things to think about and pray about and plan!  My life was ahead of me, why go to sleep when there was much to do?!  My best writing was done after midnight.  My best Bible reading happened when it was almost time for the sun to come up.  I realized more about myself when I stayed up and reflected on the day.

Well, during the summers, I was staying up until the wee hours of the morning, and this made my sleeping schedule a little different than the norm.  I wouldn't wake up until 2pm sometimes, and I was embarassed of this fact.  I felt like I had wasted a lot of my day, but I couldn't sleep at night anymore.

And then... I started craving blood.

LOL just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.

But anyways, my dad started calling me "Vampira" after that.  I wasn't too keen on that.  My dad is addicted to his own sleep schedule.  Early to bed, early to rise.  I was and am the exact opposite.

But, as you undoubtedly can now see, by exposing me to awesome movies that would go past our bedtime, he made me that way!
I rest my case.